From Self-Doubt to Self-Awareness: How to Become the Leader You’re Meant to Be
Have you ever walked into a meeting and felt like you were holding yourself back? Maybe you second-guessed your ideas or hesitated to speak up, worried about how others might perceive you. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many mid-career professionals struggle with these feelings of self-doubt. Yet, these moments also provide an opportunity to embrace self-awareness—an essential trait of effective leadership.
Self-awareness is the ability to recognize your strengths, understand your blind spots, and navigate workplace dynamics with clarity and purpose. Yet, despite its importance, research suggests that only 10-15% of people are truly self-aware.
According to Tasha Eurich, an organizational psychologist, 95% of people believe they are self-aware, but the reality is different—only a small percentage actually are. This gap occurs due to factors like blind spots, the “feel-good effect” (the tendency to view ourselves positively), and the “cult of self,” a phenomenon driven by social media that often distorts our self-perception.
The Two Types of Self-Awareness
There are two crucial aspects of self-awareness that every leader should cultivate:
- Internal Self-Awareness – This involves a deep understanding of your own values, passions, motivations, and how you operate internally. It’s knowing what drives you and how to stay true to those principles, even under pressure.
- External Self-Awareness – This is the ability to understand how others perceive you and your leadership style. Leaders who are externally self-aware can adjust their behaviors to better engage with others, build stronger teams, and avoid misunderstandings.
Interestingly, having one type of self-awareness doesn’t automatically mean you possess the other. Some leaders may have a clear sense of their values but struggle to read the room or understand how they are perceived by others. On the other hand, there are those who might be highly attuned to feedback but still lack a solid understanding of what motivates them at their core.
How to Increase Your Self-Awareness at Work
Improving self-awareness is an ongoing process, and it’s worth the investment. Here are some practical ways to get started:
- Reflect on Your Leadership Style
- Ask yourself questions like: What qualities do I admire in the leaders I respect? How do I handle pressure? What aspects of my work energize me? This reflection will help you understand your natural leadership approach and identify areas for growth.
- Seek Honest Feedback (and Actually Listen) One of the most effective ways to enhance external self-awareness is to actively seek feedback. Approach a trusted colleague or mentor and ask:
- What’s one thing I do well as a leader?
- What’s one area where I could improve? Listen with an open mind, avoiding defensiveness. Approach the feedback process with curiosity, not judgment. Eurich recommends finding a “loving critic” at work—a person who genuinely wants you to succeed and will tell you the truth, no sugarcoating.
- Pay Attention to Your Triggers Self-awareness also involves recognizing the emotional triggers that influence your behavior. What situations make you uncomfortable? Do you avoid difficult conversations? Are you defensive when receiving feedback? Understanding your triggers helps you gain insight into your emotional responses and behaviors, offering you opportunities to grow.
4. Work with a Coach If self-awareness feels like a daunting journey, consider partnering with a leadership coach. A coach can help you identify hidden blind spots, develop tailored strategies for growth, and provide accountability. With the right guidance, you can accelerate your path to becoming a more confident and effective leader.
The Courage to Grow
Eurich emphasizes that cultivating self-awareness requires courage. It’s not always easy to confront the areas where you may not be performing at your best. Yet, it’s precisely this discomfort that fuels growth. The process may be challenging, but it is absolutely worth the effort. As you deepen your self-awareness, you’ll notice increased confidence, greater authenticity, and a more aligned leadership path.
Are you ready to take your leadership to the next level?
If you’re ready to deepen your self-awareness, break through limiting beliefs, and step into your full leadership potential, let’s talk. Sign up for a laser coaching session today, and let’s work together to create a leadership path that feels empowering and sustainable for you.
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