Every professional woman aims to express her ideas and opinions confidently and assertively in the workplace. However, societal expectations and gender norms can make navigating professional settings challenging, often leading to misunderstandings or judgment. The key to overcoming these challenges lies in adapting communication strategies that work effectively in the workplace.
Perhaps you’ve tried staying quiet in meetings or being overly accommodating, only to feel frustrated and overlooked. Today, I’m going to share a communication strategy that will help you express your ideas confidently, maintain professional relationships, and avoid the common pitfalls of passive or aggressive communication. I’ll cover what assertive communication is, how it works, and how you can get started.
What Is Assertive Communication?
Assertive communication is a style that balances being passive and aggressive. It aims to:
- Clearly express your thoughts and feelings.
- Respect the opinions and rights of others.
- Establish mutual respect in conversations.
Assertive communication is about standing up for yourself in a way that is fair, honest, and considerate of others. It helps you be direct and clear without being confrontational or submissive. This style is particularly beneficial for women in professional settings, where the challenge is often to be heard and respected without being perceived as aggressive.
Why Is Assertive Communication Important?
Women who communicate assertively are more likely to be seen as competent and capable leaders. However, a study published in The Journal of Applied Psychology shows that women who assert themselves in the workplace are often judged more harshly than their male counterparts—a phenomenon known as the “backlash effect.” This can discourage women from speaking up or cause them to second-guess their communication style.
By implementing assertive communication, you can:
- Reduce stress by expressing your needs and opinions clearly.
- Build stronger relationships by fostering mutual respect.
- Increase your confidence and credibility in the workplace.
Assertive communication allows you to express your thoughts without offending others or feeling guilty, helping you avoid the stress and resentment from passive communication or the conflict and hostility from aggressive communication.
Assertive Communication Examples
If assertive communication sounds confusing or overwhelming, you’re not alone. It sounds simple until you try to do it, especially in a workplace where gender dynamics are at play. Here are some examples to help you get started with assertive communication.
Example #1: Passive Communication
Definition: Passive communication involves avoiding expressing your opinions or needs, often to avoid conflict or please others. Although this may seem like a way to keep the peace, it’s counterproductive in the long run.
Example in the Workplace: A woman hesitates to share her innovative idea in a meeting, fearing it might be dismissed or criticized. Instead, she remains silent, allowing others to dominate the conversation. Over time, this can lead to feelings of being overlooked or undervalued, and you miss opportunities to contribute valuable ideas.
Example #2: Aggressive Communication
Definition: Aggressive communication involves expressing your needs and opinions forcefully, often at the expense of others. It can come across as hostile or domineering.
Example in the Workplace: A woman interrupts her colleagues during a meeting, insisting that her approach is the only correct one. While she might gain temporary control of the conversation, her colleagues may view her as overbearing or difficult to work with. This can alienate colleagues and damage professional relationships.
Example #3: Assertive Communication
Definition: Assertive communication is about expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs openly and respectfully while also considering the perspectives of others.
Example in the Workplace: A woman confidently shares her idea during a team meeting, saying, “I believe this approach could improve our efficiency, and I’d like to hear your thoughts on it.” She expresses her perspective clearly while inviting input from others, creating an inclusive and productive dialogue.
Tips for Assertive Communication Success
First, Understand Your Communication Style
To achieve the best results, assess and understand your natural communication style. Are you more passive, aggressive, or assertive? Knowing this helps you make intentional shifts toward assertive communication.
For example: If you tend to avoid conflict by staying silent in meetings, practice speaking up with statements like, “I have a different perspective that I’d like to share.” This way, you can contribute without feeling confrontational.
Next, Use “I” Statements
Using “I” statements helps express your feelings and needs without sounding accusatory. This reduces defensiveness and encourages open dialogue. Frame your statements around your own experiences rather than blaming others to keep your communication constructive and non-threatening.
Manage Your Nonverbal Communication
Your nonverbal cues—such as body language, facial expressions, and eye contact—play a crucial role in how your message is received. Align your nonverbal communication with your words to reinforce your message.
For example: If you’re delivering a presentation, maintain eye contact with your audience, stand tall, and use hand gestures to emphasize key points. This projects confidence and keeps your audience engaged.
Be Clear and Concise
In professional settings, clarity is crucial. Being concise ensures that your message is understood and demonstrates that you value your listeners’ time.
Example: Instead of a long-winded explanation, get straight to the point: “The project is behind schedule due to unforeseen delays. We need to extend the deadline by two weeks to ensure quality delivery.”
Avoid unnecessary apologies like “Sorry to interrupt”, “Sorry to take your time” or “Sorry if this is a silly question”. Over-apologizing can undermine your message and make you appear less confident. Reserve apologies for when they’re truly warranted.
Manage Emotions
Emotions can influence how we communicate, sometimes leading to miscommunication or conflict. Learning to manage your emotions, especially in high-pressure situations, is key to maintaining professionalism and credibility.
Example: If you feel frustrated during a heated discussion, take a deep breath and pause before responding. This helps you stay calm and articulate your thoughts more effectively.
Develop a Strong Voice
Your voice is a powerful tool in communication. A strong, clear voice conveys confidence and authority. Practice speaking at a steady pace, with adequate volume and clarity, to ensure your message is heard and understood.
Finally, Practice Active Listening
Active listening involves fully engaging with the speaker, understanding their message, and responding thoughtfully. This approach fosters mutual respect and shows that you value others’ contributions.
To get started, think about how you listen in conversations, identify situations where you can improve your listening skills, and practice active listening.
Start Assertive Communication Today
Effective communication is critical for professional success, especially for women who want to ensure their voices are heard in the workplace. By understanding the differences between passive, aggressive, and assertive communication, and adopting assertive communication strategies, you can express your ideas confidently and assertively.
Communication is an ongoing process of learning and refinement—every conversation is an opportunity to grow and improve. Whether you’re leading a team, negotiating a raise, or sharing your ideas in a meeting, the ability to communicate effectively will empower you to achieve your goals and make a lasting impact in your career.
At Enhanced Potential, I’m dedicated to helping women like you build the confidence and mindset needed to thrive in your career and life. If you’d like to learn more or work with me, please drop me a line at https://enhancedpotential.com.au/contact/.
Pssst, you can also book a FREE Career strategy call to gain clarity on your career, leadership, or wellbeing goals and possible options and strategies to get you where you want to be. Click here to book your time now. Oh, and come say hi on Instagram, Facebook, and join the Recharge Lounge Facebook group for mid-career professionals.