Why Capable Women Start Doubting Their Career Decisions
And why it’s rarely about confidence.
At some point in mid career, many capable women ask a quiet question:
“Did I make the right career choices?”
On the outside, everything may look successful. You may have built experience, earned respect, and taken on responsibility. Yet inside, something feels off. This doubt is common and rarely signals weakness—it often reflects evolving priorities and identity.
When Early Career Decisions No Longer Fit
Many choices are made in our twenties, shaped by opportunity and expectations. Over time, perspectives change.
Harvard Business School professor Herminia Ibarra notes that early career choices often reflect who we were then not who we become later.
By mid career, questions shift to:
- Does this work align with what matters most?
- How do I want to spend the next decade?
- What kind of impact do I want to have?
These questions indicate growth, not instability.
The Power Paradox and Invisible Load
Psychologist Dacher Keltner’s Power Paradox shows that influence can bring both recognition and pressure. Many women feel more capable yet more scrutinised, responsible for relationships, and under pressure to perform flawlessly.
Additionally, research from McKinsey and LeanIn shows women often take on invisible work like mentoring and supporting team wellbeing. These essential contributions are rarely recognised and can lead to:
- emotional exhaustion
- less time for strategic work
- competing pressures
It’s no wonder self doubt can creep in.
The Confidence Gap and Perfection Trap
Research in The Confidence Code shows women often wait until they are fully prepared, while men act with less certainty. Hewlett Packard research found men applied with ~60% of the qualifications; women waited until nearly all were met.
This reinforces thoughts like:
“I’m not ready yet.”
“I should be better by now.”
“I can’t afford to get this wrong.”
Perfectionism and self doubt can grow silently over time.
Pause, Reflect, Reset
If this resonates, try asking:
- What has changed about what matters to me?
- What unconscious expectations am I carrying?
- What possibilities are emerging at this stage of my career?
These questions don’t mean something is wrong. They signal a chance to take a step back, gain clarity, and shape the next chapter intentionally.
Ready to Reset Your Career?
The 3-Day Career Reset Challenge is designed to help you:
✔ rebuild confidence and self trust at work
✔ increase visibility and influence
✔ become more intentional about your next career chapter
Over three short sessions, you’ll reflect, reset, and gain practical strategies to move forward with clarity.
