Do You Really Know Your Worth? How Reflection Builds Confidence at Work
When was the last time you stopped and thought about how far you’ve actually come? Not what you still need to do, the next goal or promotion, or the thing you could have handled better. I mean, really stopped and recognised how much you’ve learned, handled and grown along the way.
When we talk about building confidence at work, we often focus on what we need to do differently: speak up more, become more visible, take on a bigger challenge or stop doubting ourselves. But there’s another part of confidence we don’t talk about nearly enough. Sometimes we need to stop looking ahead and recognise the evidence of what we’re already capable of.
I see this frequently in my coaching work, particularly with experienced professional women. We’re very good at looking forward and identifying what we need to improve, but we’re not always as good at looking back and recognising what we’ve already achieved. We finish one thing and move straight onto the next without giving ourselves much time to take it in.
A project goes well. Great. What’s next? Someone gives us positive feedback, and we say thank you, but privately think, “They were just being nice.” We handle something that would have completely overwhelmed us five years ago and barely stop to notice.
And yet we’ll happily replay the one conversation that didn’t go quite to plan at 2 am.
Sound familiar?
Your Brain Isn’t Always Giving You the Full Picture
There’s some psychology behind this. Our brains are particularly good at paying attention to problems, mistakes and potential threats. That’s useful when we’re trying to stay safe, but it doesn’t necessarily give us a balanced picture of our capability.
Once we start telling ourselves something like, “I’m not experienced enough,” “I’m not confident enough,” or “I’m not very good at speaking up,” we can become remarkably good at noticing evidence that supports that story. Meanwhile, evidence that suggests something different can easily be dismissed or forgotten.
The stories we tell ourselves can become incredibly powerful, particularly when we keep looking for evidence that confirms them.
You might receive ten pieces of positive feedback and one piece of constructive feedback. Which one are you still thinking about on the drive home?
That’s one reason reflection matters.
But I think we sometimes misunderstand what good reflection actually looks like. We tend to ask ourselves: What went wrong? What could I have done better? What do I need to improve?
They’re useful questions. They’re just not the only questions we should be asking.
We also need to ask: What did I do well? What did I handle better than I would have a year ago? What strengths did I use? Where did I make a difference?
That’s reflection too.
Building Confidence at Work Requires Evidence
Psychologist Albert Bandura’s work on self-efficacy has always resonated with me. Self-efficacy is essentially our belief in our ability to succeed in a particular situation, and that belief influences the choices we make, how much effort we’re prepared to put in and how we respond when things get difficult.
One of the strongest ways we develop self-efficacy is through what Bandura called mastery experiences.
Put simply, you do something, and your brain gets another piece of evidence that says:
“I can do this.”
Think about your own career. Perhaps you’ve handled a difficult conversation, presented to senior leaders, managed a challenging stakeholder, learned a new skill, stepped into a leadership role or simply made it through a period that was much harder than you expected.
Those experiences matter.
The problem is that we’re often very quick to move on. We achieve something, mentally tick it off and immediately start thinking about the next thing we haven’t done yet.
We don’t bank the evidence.
Start Collecting the Evidence: Create a WOW Folder
That’s why one of the simplest tools I suggest to coaching clients is creating what I call a WOW Folder.
There’s nothing particularly complicated about it. It’s simply somewhere you deliberately collect evidence of your contribution, progress and capability.
Save the email where someone thanked you for your help. Keep the positive feedback from your manager. Add the project you’re proud of, the presentation that went better than expected or a reminder of the difficult situation you handled well.
Include the things you tried even when you weren’t completely sure you could do them.
You can also record your own observations. Perhaps you spoke up in a meeting where you would previously have stayed quiet. Maybe you set a boundary, asked for an opportunity, handled criticism differently or said no to something that wasn’t right for you.
These moments are easy to dismiss because they may not look like major career achievements.
But they’re evidence of growth.
Over time, your WOW Folder becomes your own record of what you’ve accomplished and how you’ve developed. Then, on the days when your confidence takes a wobble — and everyone’s does — you have something real to come back to.
Not positive affirmations.
Actual evidence.
Knowing Your Worth Doesn’t Mean Thinking You’re Amazing at Everything
I think this distinction matters.
Knowing your worth isn’t about becoming overly confident, pretending you know everything or ignoring your development areas. Of course there are things you don’t know yet and areas where you can improve. Having a growth mindset means recognising that your capability isn’t fixed — you can continue to learn, stretch and develop throughout your career. Knowing your worth is about seeing yourself more accurately.
It’s knowing what you’re good at, what you’ve learned, where you add value and what other people trust you to do. It’s also being able to recognise where you’re still developing without turning that development area into a judgement about your overall capability.
You can hold two things at once.
I’m good at this, AND I’m still learning.
I’ve achieved a lot, AND I want to grow.
I don’t know how to do this yet, AND I can work it out.
That’s a very different internal conversation from constantly asking:
“Am I good enough?”
Confidence Doesn’t Have to Come Before Action
There’s another important part of this.
We often think we need to feel confident before becoming more visible at work. We wait until we feel ready to put our hand up, have the conversation, apply for the role or share our idea.
But confidence often develops the other way around.
We take the action.
We discover we can handle it.
And that experience becomes another piece of evidence.
That doesn’t mean you have to make enormous leaps outside your comfort zone. Small actions count. Having one conversation you’ve been avoiding, contributing your perspective in a meeting or asking someone for feedback can all help build your belief in what you’re capable of.
Confidence grows through experience.
Take Five Minutes to Reflect on Your Own Career
Before you move on to the next email, meeting or thing on your list, give yourself five minutes.
Think about the last 12 months and ask yourself:
What have I handled well?
What am I better at now than I was 12 months ago?
What positive feedback have I received that I haven’t really taken in?
What have I done even though I wasn’t completely confident?
What am I proud of?
Then ask yourself one final question:
What does all of this tell me about what I’m capable of?
You might be surprised by how much evidence is sitting there when you actually stop to look for it.
And maybe start your own WOW Folder.
Because sometimes growth isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about stopping long enough to recognise how much you’ve already grown.
Ready to Take Stock of What’s Next?
If this has prompted you to think more deeply about your career, confidence or what you want next, my Career Audit is a practical place to start.
It will help you step back from the day-to-day and look at what’s working, what’s not and where you might want to focus your energy next.
Or, if you’d like some dedicated space to work through your career direction, confidence or next step, you can explore career coaching with Caron and Enhanced Potential.
Want to Explore Further?
Albert Bandura – Self-Efficacy
Bandura’s research explores how our belief in our ability affects the choices we make, the effort we put in and how we respond when things get difficult. His work on mastery experiences is particularly useful for understanding why recognising previous successes can help build confidence.
Bandura, A. (1997). Self-Efficacy: The Exercise of Control. W.H. Freeman.
Pauline Clance & Suzanne Imes – The Impostor Phenomenon
Their original research explored why some high-achieving women struggle to internalise their accomplishments and continue to doubt their capability despite evidence of success.
Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). The impostor phenomenon in high-achieving women: Dynamics and therapeutic intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice, 15(3), 241–247.
Dweck’s work explores the difference between viewing ability as fixed and recognising that skills and capability can continue to develop through learning, effort and experience.
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.
Feeling ready to build greater clarity and confidence in your career?
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